Helping Your Child Stick To A Routine When You Both Have ADHD

Creating a routine can feel like a tall order on any day.

But when both you and your child are living with ADHD, it can feel especially overwhelming.

As a parent, you’re juggling so much—appointments, school, work, meals—and still trying to carve out consistency at home. I see you.

And if no one’s told you this yet today: You’re doing the best you can, and that matters.

This post is for the parents who are trying to show up with care and structure, even when their own executive function is having a tough time cooperating.

Let’s talk through how we can make routines feel less like pressure and more like support.

Why Routines Matter (Especially for ADHD)

Routines are more than just schedules.

For kids with ADHD, they can help regulate the nervous system, reduce overwhelm, and make transitions (like bedtime or getting out the door in the morning) go just a little more smoothly.

Here are a few ways a consistent routine can help:

✅ Creates a sense of safety by helping your child know what to expect

✅ Provides structure and rhythm in a world that often feels chaotic

✅ Reduces conflict by minimizing last-minute surprises or power struggles

When your child feels more regulated, you will too. This ripple effect is real.

Helping Your Child Stick to a Routine

1. Model creating and sticking to a routine

Most children learn from watching their parents and what they do.

As a parent, if you are able to set up your own routine and your child is able to see you doing the routine, they’re more likely to follow through with their own routine.

Modeling doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be intentional.

If you have a routine written down, on your phone, or even in your head, narrate it out loud.

• Try saying something like:
  “Okay, it’s 7:30. That means it’s time for us to start winding down.

• I’m going to brush my teeth, and then we’ll read together before lights out.”

That kind of gentle, predictable rhythm helps your child internalize what comes next.

2. Allow flexibility alongside consistency

Structure doesn’t have to mean rigidity. Life happens.

There are late dinners, after-school activities, off-days (for them and for you).

The goal is to find that rhythm.

Even if your routine starts later than planned, sticking to the same general order of steps can help.

Think: same flow, adjusted time.

That consistency, even in a modified way, still supports your child’s sense of predictability.

3. Use meaningful incentives

Routines aren’t naturally rewarding for most kids with ADHD.

And honestly? Adults with ADHD don’t find them super thrilling either.

That’s where incentives come in, not as bribes, but as meaningful encouragement.

• You know your child best, so tailor rewards to what actually lights them up.

• Maybe it’s a sticker, extra playtime, or choosing what’s for dinner tomorrow.

• You deserve encouragement too. Small wins count.

So if you follow through with a routine even just one step of it, celebrate that.

You’re building something sustainable!

Give Yourself Grace

Starting a new routine is hard, especially when you’re managing your own ADHD.

It’s okay to start small.

Choose just one part of the day—bedtime, mornings, homework time—and begin there.

Pick just a few essential steps, and slowly build as you both find your flow.

And on the days it falls apart (because those will happen), remind yourself: this is a process, not a pass/fail test.

Want to Keep Learning?

If you’d like more insight into understanding your child’s ADHD and how to support them emotionally and practically, I created a free parent guide that dives deeper into what’s really going on beneath the behaviors.

You can download the guide here — and know that you don’t have to do this alone.