Helping Your Child Stick to a Routine When You Both Have ADHD

Creating a routine for any child can be difficult, but for those with ADHD it can be especially difficult.

As a parent, you likely have lots of appointments and schedules to keep up with for yourself and the family.

In last week’s blog, I shared some strategies for how to remain consistent when you have ADHD.

In this blog post, I’ll be talking about specifically how you can help you and your child stick to a routine when you have ADHD.

Benefits of a Routine for ADHD

Having a routine can be beneficial for both children and parents who have ADHD.

For children with ADHD, having a routine can support their nervous system in many ways:

• Providing expectations for their upcoming day

• Increasing structure for them

• Easing transitions by helping them know what to anticipate

As a parent who has ADHD, when your child feels better and can manage their schedule easier, you’ll also feel less stressed and more confident about their day. 

Knowing where to start with creating a routine and then helping your child stick to a routine can be difficult.

Many families have shared that they don’t know what steps to put into their routine or the strategies that will help them be consistent.

Helping Your Child Stick to a Routine

Here are some tips for helping your child stick to their routine when both of you have ADHD.

1. Model creating and sticking to a routine.

Most children learn from watching their parents and what they do. As a parent, if you are able to set up your own routine and your child is able to see you doing the routine, they’re more likely to follow through with their own routine.

As an adult, it can be helpful to have a routine on your phone so that your child can also see you follow through with your routine.

The Brili Routines: Habit Tracker app has routine templates curated by ADHD experts that you can choose from and adapt to your schedule.

If you choose a bedtime routine from the Brili app, you can model this for your child by saying, “I’m going to open my Brili app and start my bedtime routine. The first step is to brush my teeth at 8:30.”

Using this type of self-talk when describing your routine helps children internalize the steps needed to be consistent.

2. Allow flexibility alongside consistency.

Even though routines are important, it’s also worth noting that they should be flexible.

You can make a routine flexible by changing the order in which you do tasks (which is easy to do when you have a routine app).

You can also change the time with which you start your or your child’s routine.

There may be days when your child has a sports game and the bedtime routine needs to be pushed back an hour later. When that happens, try to stick to the same routine steps and just change the time at which you start them.

If your child is also using their Brili app, this can be easily adjusted in their routine.

Even on the days when you need to be flexible with your schedule, using a digital app that automates the routine steps, can be easier to adjust than a paper routine.

3. Utilize incentives to encourage yourself and your child.

One of the most helpful ways to motivate anyone to do a routine is to use incentives.

Incentives (such as rewards) are particularly important for kids with ADHD. A routine itself often is not rewarding at first, so other incentives can be used at the moment to be a reward.

Over time, your child will be more excited to use their routine, and rewards will not be needed as much. To make rewards effective, they need to be customized to your child.

• As a parent, you can customize the rewards your child receives through the Brili app. As they complete steps in their routine, they will earn stars that can then be traded in for one of these rewards.

• For your child, when they are able to see they are earning stars at the moment for completing their routine, this turns it into a fun game for them, making it even more rewarding for them.

• As an adult, you can also continue to model this for your child, setting up your own rewards in the Brili app for adults.

Getting Started with Your Routine

As an adult with ADHD, getting started on a new routine is one of the most difficult parts. Start off by choosing a time of day when you think both you and your child would benefit from additional structure and routine.

For example, many parents start with bedtime as their first routine to set. 

After that, download the Brili app for adults and for kids and utilize one of their templates to begin adjusting to your child’s schedule.

It’s always best to start with only the most necessary steps in a routine and gradually build more on as your child gets used to their initial routine.

Using tools such as Brili will help you stay more consistent as a parent with ADHD. If you would like to get started with Brili, you can download the apps here. Both apps are free for 30 days to try.